My Ebola outbreak brings the CDC to the yard and they're like, sir that's just irritable bowel syndrome.

According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame

Seriously considering telling the CDC I have Ebola, so they'll clean my house.

CDC researching anomaly in Atlanta (self xfrom /funny) With all the rain lately in Atlanta, the CDC has been investigating something that only seems to happen when it rains. They seem to think there is some kind of chemical reaction that happens with the rain hits the asphalt that causes people to completely forget how to drive in weather which results in 285 being backed up for miles on Friday afternoon when people are trying to get home after work. Radio traffic announcers are calling it the M…