My African-American pastor was not amused Man is in a hospital room with his wife who is giving birth. After all the pain and pushing, she gives birth to a healthy baby boy. A half-black baby boy. The white father is outraged, and runs out of the room, knocking things down and shouting on his away down the hall. The doctor who delivered the baby rushes to him and asks him what is wrong. Man: That baby is half-black. I am white. Don't you see a problem here!? Doctor: Sir, I still don't see the pr…

Wife: he's always confusing sayings... Therapist: what if you're just misinterpreting him? Me: oooh, check you out playing devil's avocado

*wife spends all morning convincing son not to be afraid of the dentist* "Dad are you coming too?" Hell no dentists scare the shit out of me

The Pastor's New Teeth The Pastor goes to the dentist to get a new set of false teeth. On the first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. On the second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. But the following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what had happened to cause that. The Pastor explained that the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 mi…