The dogfood diet (don't know the source, my dad sent me this he prob heard it on the radio) Yesterday I was at my local Publix buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think...I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I…

After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s multi million dollar home and since the man’s lawyers were a little better he prevailed. He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and suitcases. On the 2nd day she had to movers come and collect her things. On the 3rd day she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining roo…

Cheerios An average Cheerio box has three levels. At the top is the realm of the complete, perfect Cheerios. These Cheerios live a life of luxury, with as much food and drink as they want, and little work to do. The second level of the box, the middle layer, is occupied by the imperfect but still mostly whole. These Cheerios have to work to survive, but life is manageable. The lowest level is occupied by the broken, destroyed fragments of Cheerios, that small children refuse to eat, and it is t…

Paul called his friend Jake and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? Jake, “Send her some flowers and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal.” Paul liked the idea, so he invited the woman. The day after the meal Jake calls Paul and asks about the meal. Paul, “It was a flop idea.” Jake, “Didn’t the girl come to your house?” Paul, “She did, but she refused to cook!”