Two weirdo's are walking down the street.. As they stroll down the road they see a dog in the ditch licking it's nuts. One weirdo says to the other, ""Don't you with you could do that?"" The other weirdo says ""Yeah I'd love to, but I'm scared that the dog would bite me in the face""

A man and his son were walking down the street... (As told to me by my brother) ...when the boy sees a dead bird with its feet sticking up in the air. The boy says to his dad ""Daddy what happened to the bird?"" ""Well son, it's dead."" ""Why are its legs in the air?"" ""That's so Jesus can pick it up and bring it to heaven."" After a moment of thought, the boy said ""Then mommy almost died!"" The father, confused, asks what he means. ""Well, the other day I saw mommy with her legs up, screaming…