My favorite pirate joke. The dread pirate Blackbeard walks into a bar with the huge, unwieldy mass of a ship's steering wheel sticking out of his britches. He carefully and slowly sidles up to the bar and says ""Barrrkeep! Fetch me some grog and a shot of rum!"" The bartender, cowering, says, ""Sir, it looks very uncomfortable, you can barely sit down. Do you realize you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?"" Blackbeard's face changes. His nostrils flare. His eyes go wild. Everyone in the bar goes stock still as Blackbeard yells, ""Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, she's driving me nuts!""