A mans dog dies one day, and the man is very upset. His dog did everything for him. Washed the dishes. Bought things from the shop. The man was so upset, he decided to go and buy a new pet. Once at the pet store, he asked the manager, "Do you have any pets that will do anything for me? My dog has just passed away and I want something to replace him." The manager looks around. "We don't have much, I'm afraid. Just this centipede here." The man looks puzzled, but accepts the centipede anyway. Back…

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

A horse walks into a bar & the bartender says, "why the long face?" & the horse says, "why the English Lit degree?"

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse sues him for discrimination and wins $4.3 million and the bar.