MacGregor the... An American tourist is visiting a picturesque Scottish village, when all of a sudden he hears someone crying. Looking around, he notices a Scotsman sitting on a bench bawling his eyes out. ""Hey, are you OK?"" The Scot looks up and sighs heavily. ""Listen, laddie,"" he says, ""d'ye see that hoose over thair?"" The tourist looks around. ""Sure, I see it."" ""I built that hoose with me own hands, but d'ye think they call me MacGregor the hoose-builder? Nooooo. And d'ye see that we…

An anthropologist is completing his lifelong study of world dance... And he's celebrating. Celebrating his tail off. See, he'd spent the last 25 years cataloging every single dance performed by every group in the world. Polish Bogarodzicas. Sioux Buckskin dances to Seminole Green Corn dances. Inuit dances to the whales, Ghanaian Kpanlongo, Finnish step-dance. All of it. And he's found himself in Australia, recording the last one of all. A Wungubal in the north, performed by a small group of Abor…

An Australian is taking a walk in New Zealand... when he looks into the field beside the path and sees a Kiwi farmer having his way with a sheep. He is a little shocked, so he walks over and tells the farmer ""You know mate, in Australia we shear sheep."" The Kiwi farmer looks up at him and exclaims ""Not here in New Zeelund bro, I ain't shearing! Bloody get your own sheep!""

Two lion cubs were born. They were brothers. While they will still very young, one lion was sent to a zoo in Australia and one was sent to a zoo in Italy. Years later, the brothers meet again and discuss their lives. The Australian brother says: ""These guys've been good to me, mate. I've been really happy and I'm the star attraction of my zoo. I don't think any lion has it better than me!"" The Italian brother says: ""That's-a nothing! I get every single-a thing that-a you could ask for! Meat, …