Five Elderly Ladies Another chain letter my mother sent... Hiding on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Massachusetts State Trooper sees a car puttering along at 24 mph. He thinks to himself, ""This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!"" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to h…

An old man has finally retired and just bought a new sports car... As he leaves the dealership and pulls onto the interstate, he begins to accelerate. As he passes 80mph he passes a highway patrol. The lights instantly come on. He puts the accelerator to the floor and speeds up, 90, 110, 120mph... He finally let's off and asks himself what he's doing as he pulls over to the side of the road. The highway patrolman walks up and says ""Sir, it's the end of my shift, I'm tired and bored. If you can …

No one believes seniors . .. . Everyone thinks they are senile. An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally. On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at th…

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO ME An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: ""They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator! "" she cried. The dispatcher said, ""Stay calm. An officer is on the way."" A few minutes later, the officer radios in. ""Disregard,"" he says. She got in the back-seat by mistake.""