Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck. Tragic, especially considering they didn't exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades. The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet his two newest eternal residents, and despite rivers of lava and torrents of brimstone, they're standing around in jackets. ""Not hot enough for you?"" asked the Devil. ""What, this? Nah, this is like a Spring day in …

A pair of lifelong friends play golf and go to Hooters Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to NY other to California. Every ten years they agree to meet in Chicago and play golf. They finish their round at age 30 and go to lunch. ""Where you wanna go?"" ""Hooters."" ""Why?"" ""Well, you know, they got the broads, with the big racks, and the tight shorts. The legs..."" ""OK."" Ten years later at 40, they play. ""Where you wanna go?"" ""Hooters."" ""Why?"" ""Well, you know, they …

Pope Francis gets a new car. He's in Chicago for an appearance. His regular car is obviously not there and due to some mixup all they have is a huge SUV. When Francis sees this beast he thinks for a second. ""Hey, I've been kind of curious about these things. Do you mind if I drive?"" What are you supposed to say when the Pope asks that? ""Sure thing,"" says the driver. He hops in back and Francis gets behind the wheel. Francis is a little unused to all that engine power so they're lurching arou…

After i heard the the one about Abe and his wife trying to poison him... I remembered this one. A Polish man from Chicago married a Wisconsin girl after he had been in the states a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him ""very quick."" The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following quest…