A man approaching his fiftieth birthday decides to have a facelift. He spends $5,000 on the operation and is very happy with the results. On his way home from surgery, he stops at a kiosk and buys some cigarettes. Before leaving, he says to the vendor, ""I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"" ""About thirty-five,"" is the reply. ""I'm actually forty-nine,"" the man replies smugly, feeling really good about himself. After that he goes into a Starbucks for a coffee and asks the young girl behind the counter the same question, to which the reply is, ""Oh you look about twenty-nine."" ""I am actually forty-nine."" By now he's feeling fantastic. While standing at the bus stop, he asks a really old woman the same question. She replies, ""I am ninety years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for ten minutes, I will be able to tell your exact age."" As there is no one around, the man lets her slip her hand down his pants. The old lady rummages around for ten minutes and says: ""Okay, it's done. You are forty-nine."" The man is stunned. ""That was brilliant! How did you do that?"" The old lady replies, ""I was standing behind you in Starbucks.""