An Irishman is sick of people thinking he's stupid. Because in England the Irish are stupid, Scottish tight fisted and the French smell. So he goes to have elocution lessons. Spends six weeks intensively saying 'how now brown cow' and 'Hark I hear the canons roar. Is it the king approaching.' And he cracks it. The day after he finishes his course he goes into a shop and asks in his best tones. ""I say old man could you give me a copy of The Times and a pack of cigars please."" The shopkeeper leans over the counter and says ""You're Irish aren't you ?"" The man is stunned and says ""How the feck did you know that?"" ""This is a butchers"" the shopkeeper replies.