Pirate captain and his clothing This Pirate Captain is sailing his boat when he sees a merchant ship he wishes to raid. He know a battle will ensue so he tells his first mate, ""First mate, fetch me my red shirt."" The first mate gives a funny look, fetches the shirt then asks, ""Sir, tell me, why a red shirt?"" The captain replies, ""For morale. When the battle ensues people will be hurt. So, if I am hurt and bleed, my blood will be concealed by the shirt so the crew's morale will not be lowered as their captain dies."" The first mate thought it was genious. So the battle happend and no casualties. The Captain raids more ships with his red shirt until one day he comes upon the Spanish Armada. He looks to his first mate and says, ""Bring me my brown pants!""