My grandfather's favorite joke Two men are sitting at a bar one night, Danny and Jacob. Danny looks over to Jake and says ""My wife is gonna kill me; i'm drunk as a skunk"", Jake says ""Ah! you're fine have another beer!"" So Danny has another beer, and he ends up puking all over himself. Danny says ""Ah look at me, i gone thrown up all over myself, I'm drunk as a skunk, my wife is going to kill me!"" Jake reaches over and stuffs some money in his shirt pocket and says, ""Just tell her the guy next to you did that to you, and he even gave you some money for the dry cleaning."" Danny thinks this is a great idea so he decides to go home and face his wife. She is there waiting for him, takes one looks at Danny and says ""Danny! look at you! you're drunk as a skunk, and got sick on yourself!"" Danny smiles and reaches into his pocket and says ""Don't worry, the guy next to me did this to me... even gave me $10 for the dry cleaning"" as he give the bill to her, she looks at it and says, ""But Danny, this is $20"" ... he says ""Yea, and he shit in my pants too!""