Tuba Lessons (warning, long build up) A father once desired for his layabout son to do something... anything... with his life in an effort to improve his condition. The child had no academic acumen, nor any athletic talent, so the father decided to get the child involved in the arts. ""Which musical insturment,"" he demanded one day, ""would you like to play most?"" ""The tuba."" replied the child. That very day the father put his child into tuba lessons. The tutor would work with the child every Friday from seven o'clock to nine o'clock in the evening, and was close enough to the family home that the father thought it acceptable for his child to walk to the lessons and back. The first Friday came around, the child went off to his lesson and returned shortly after nine, eager to show his father what he'd learned. ""Daddy, daddy! Today I learned how to play a B flat!"" and with much eagerness, the child demonstrated his newfound skill BROOMTP. The second Friday came around, the child went off to his lesson and returned shortly after nine, eager to show his father what he'd learned. ""Daddy, daddy! Today I learned how to play a G!"" and with much eagerness, the child demonstrated his newfound skill BRAAAP. The third Friday came around, the child went off to his lesson... but he didn't return at nine. He wasn't back by eleven, or midnight, or even by two in the morning. At quarter to four, the child comes strolling in, reeking of tobacco smoke, cheap perfume, and even cheaper booze. The father, who had been waiting up all night for his kids return was understandably furious. ""WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT?!?"" ""Oh, chill out daddy-o..."" returned the child, ""I just had a gig.""