A guy walks into a bar... He goes up to the bartender and says ""I'll have a bottle of your top shelf scotch"". So the bartender gives him a glass and a bottle, and the man quickly downs the scotch. The Bartender says ""That's a $300 bottle of scotch and you drank it in a minute! I've never seen anyone drink a bottle of scotch so fast"" and the guy says ""Well buddy, if you had what I have, you'd drink top shelf scotch awfully fast too"". So the bartender says ""What do you have?"" The man looks up into the bartender's eyes and says: ""About 3 bucks""