Vietnam veteran's hilarious true story A bunch of US soldiers were marching across a field. One of the guys says to his buddy, ""Hey, do you see where we are?"" He looks around and realizes they are walking through a massive field of marijuana. The soldiers started breaking off plants and stuffing them into their clothes and their helmets, as much as they could fit. Then their commanding officer comes over, sees what the men are doing, and shouts, ""Finally!!! Bout time you boys started listenin…

A cop sees a drunk stumbling down the street He says, "Hey, Buddy, you look a little drunk, you ok?." The drunk says, "Man, I sure am glad to see you officer. See, somebody just stole my car." The cop says, "Stole your car? Where was the car when you last saw it?" The guy says, "Right on the end of this key." The cop looks at the key and looks at the drunk and says, "Well, go two blocks down to the Station and report it to the desk sergeant." The drunk says, "Thanks, officer. You been…

Apparently, "he's an army officer" isn't the correct response to "who's your daddy".

[baby takes its first steps] me in a cop outfit: not even close to a straight line buddy, you're going away for a long long time.