Two friends are drinking in a bar... Before they know it, the night has passed into the wee hours of the morning. The first man turns to the second and says ""I'll be in trouble when I get home to the wife again. Every time I'm home late I get a taxi to a few doors down, creep round to the back door, take my shoes off, tip toe up the stars and sneak into bed without a sound. She always wakes up and gives me a good shouting."" ""Try what I do,"" says the second man. ""I drive across the lawn, sla…

A man walks into a bar... Sits down and orders a drink. The bar is empty except for a nonchalant bartender wiping glasses down and a man focused on his drink at the bar and, amazingly, on the bar next to him is a tiny man tinkling away at a tiny piano. He looks at the gentleman siting closest to the tiny piano player and asks, ""is that yours?"" The man looks up and with a sigh replies, ""Yes, it is."" The first man, awed at the small miracle says, ""That's amazing! Where did you get such a thin…

Two men walk into a bar... The first man orders a scotch and soda. The second man remembers something he'd forgotten, and it doubles him over with pain. He falls to the floor shaking.... and then through the floor and into the Earth. He looks back up at the first man, but he doesn't call out to him...They're not that close.

A man goes into a bar with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender says, ""You can't bring that dog in here!"" The man, without missing a beat, says, ""This is my seeing eye dog."" ""Oh man, I'm sorry,"" the bartender says, ""I didn't realize you were blind. Here, the first drink's on me."" The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first man sees him, stops him and says, ""They don't allow dogs in here, so you won't get a dr…