The Welding Mask It's Johnny's tenth birthday, so his mother gives him five bucks to go to the candy store down the street to buy whatever he wants. During his walk he goes through a construction site and sees a welding mask on the ground that he thinks is cool so he decides to pick it up and put it on. As he continues down the road wearing his awesome new welding mask, a limo pulls up next to him and an old man leans out and asks ""Hey kid, want some soda and free candy?"". Johnny thinks to himself *Man this welding mask is paying off already, free candy and I get to keep the five bucks? Hell yea*, and gets in the limo. Johnny's eating his candy, and drinking his soda, and the old man asks him, ""Hey kid, you ever heard of fellatio?"". To which, Johnny innocently replies, ""No mister"", and continues eating his candy. The old man then slides closer to Johnny and asks, ""Hey kid, you ever heard of sodomy?"". To which, Johnny confusedly replies ""No sir... sorry"". The old man slides right up next to Johnny and asks, ""Hey kid, you ever heard of a rim job?"". To which, Johnny slowly puts his candy and soda down, lifts the welding mask up from his face, and looks at him and says, ""Look old man, I have to level with you, I'm not a welder.""