A man moves to America. He comes knowing zero English, so decides to walk around and learn phrases. He first walks in a concert hall where a woman is warming up to sing. He hears her say ""me me me me"" and so he repeats. ""me me me me"" He's then hungry and goes to a restaurant. A small child at the next table chants, ""knife and fork! Knife and fork!"". So he, of course, repeats. ""knife and fork! Knife and fork!"". After his meal, he walks into a candy store. He sees a kid dancing around sing…

An Asian who couldn't speak English came to America... Upon arrival, he met a vocalist. The vocalist quickly found that the Asian man could not speak English. He could only ask 'How can I speak English?' The vocalist recited 'me me me me me me me'. The Asian man said it aloud, and continued on his way. The next person he talked to was a chef. From the chef he learned 'forks and knives, forks and knives, forks and knives'. Later that day he came upon a priest who exclaimed 'hallelujah! hallelujah…

Latvian joke. Are three. Latvian go fish. Catch fish. Is excite for food! Boat tip over. Lose fish. Also catch sickness. Die. Leave family only half potato. Latvian very hungry. Go to neighbor, beg for food. Neighbor very nice, give half potato wrapped in paper. Latvian go home. Too late. Family all starve. Also, not potato wrapped in paper. Is rock. Also very cold outside. Latvian meet magician on road. Magician offer to do trick. Latvian ask Magician to send him to America, where there many po…

told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco