Gospel of Andrew: Jesus Appoints the 12 Disciples Jesus summoned His twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every kind of disease and every kind of sickness. Now the names of the twelve apostles are these: The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; and James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip and Bartholomew; Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James the son of Alphaeus, and Judas Thaddaeus, Simon the Zealo…

Cop 1: You think Simon will escape? Cop 2: Nah, he's locked up in there good. Simon: Simon Says free me. Cop 1: Dang it, he got us.

And then the Lord said unto thee "any social media site besides Facebook asking for prayers shall go unanswered." Matthew 4:23

When I die, I'm donating my body to Simons. I tell this to every Simon I meet. So far, they're not into it