There is no bond greater than the mutual respect of two former high school friends who refuse to friend each other on Facebook.

There's no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you're blowing up a rubber glove.

Me: *enters exam room Doctor: Please take off your... M: *unbuttons pants D: ?? M: *pauses* D: GLASSES! D: I'M AN EYE DR DAMNIT!

I like to finish my pelvic exam by asking the doctor 'hey, where'd your watch go?'