My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.

If you don't have a Facebook account, all your high school friends just assume you died.

A pregnant girl from my high school made her unborn child a Facebook and added me as a friend. I AM FRIENDS WITH AN EMBRYO YOU GUYS.

Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don't end up like everyone I went to high school with.