This summer I'm going to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say, 'Get a life' on them. Demetri Martin#Martin#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
If I ever saw an amputee being hanged, I'd just yell out letters. - Demetri Martin#Martin#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Helo, my name is Ma-ma-ma-ma-martin. ""You stutter?"" ""No, my father did and the registrar was an idiot.""#Martin#Parents#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp