A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St. Peter. ""Welcome!"" he says. ""Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you must answer my questions correctly to gain entrance."" ""Okay,"" says the blonde. ""Here's your question: name two days of the week that begin with the letter T."" ""That's easy. Today and tomorrow!"" ""Well, that's not the answer I was thinking of, but I'll give you another question. How many seconds are there in a year?"" ""That's easy. Twelve!"" ""Twelve?"" ""January second, February second, March second--"" ""Okay, okay. I can see you misunderstood this question as well. Okay, one more chance. What's God's name?"" ""That's easy. Howard!"" ""Howard?"" ""You know -- 'Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name...""