The Italian Restaurant Car Thieves Deep in New York, there was an upscale Italian restaurant. It served some of the richest people in all of the state. However, it was recently discovered that for years the waiters were running a scheme of stealing ladies' fancy cars. When the customer wasn't looking, the waiter would snatch the car key from their purse and replace it with another item. When the customer left the restaurant, they would search their purse and find gnocchi.

Cream Filling [Long] Ok, so there's this guy, who's about forty years old, and he's a ginger. You know, red hair, pale skin, freckles, no soul, the whole works, he's a ginger. and he lives by New York City. he doesn't live in it, he only lives by it, but he works in the city, and in his free time he enjoys going into the city. so one night he was out having a good time in the city and he has work the next morning. so he's taking the subway to work because that's how people in New York get to wor…

An Aer Lingus flight to New York takes off from Dublin... Shortly after takeoff the Senior Air Hostess speaks over the intercom, ""Ladies and gentlemen if I can have your attention for a moment. I regret to inform you that due to a mix up before takeoff, we do not have enough food for everyone on board. Our current stock is just 30 dinners. However we do have a fully stocked bar, so if anyone is willing to give up their dinner, we will happily supply them with alcoholic beverages, on the house, …

Awful food A Doctor was addressing a large audience in New York.. ""The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here te…