Goldberg opens a hardware store. To advertise, he rents a billboard, puts up a picture of Jesus nailed to the cross, with the caption: ""They used Goldberg's nails."" His son, upon seeing this, exclaims to his father, ""You can't use that! It will cause antisemitism!"" So Goldberg exchanges it for a picture of Jesus's body laying on the ground, hands bloodied, with the caption: ""They didn't use Goldberg's nails.""

In honor of Easter.. I present to you a small joke. Jesus made his usual rounds in heaven when he noticed a wizened, white-haired old man sitting in a corner looking very disconsolate. The next week he was disturbed to come across him again, looking equally miserable, and a week later he stopped to talk to him. ""See here, old fellow,"" said Jesus kindly, ""this is heaven. The sun is shining, you've got all you could want to eat, all the instruments you might want to play-- you're supposed to be…

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says ""I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."" 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. ""We can't stand the sight of each other any longer"" the father says. ""We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her."" Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the p…

Santa is stressed... Many years ago on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus is preparing for his big day tomorrow but nothing is goin well. Half the reindeer are sick, the elves are behind on their work and Mrs Claus' mother-in-law just arrived for the week. But then an angel appeared at Santa's door with a Christmas tree just for him. Santa answered the door to find the angel in front of him. Smiling the angel said to Santa ""I found this tree to brighten up your Christmas, now where would you like me to…