Tally-whacker Bill Clinton after playing a round of golf with Supporters, notices Donald trump standing in an adjacent urinal. Suddenly Bill looks down and notices that Donald was quite well endowed. ""Damn, Donald,"" Bill said, ""How did that thing ever get so big?"" ""It's like this, Every night, before I go to bed, I smack it against the bed post ten times. That's all it takes."" ""What a good idea!"" said Bill. ""Hillary's been ignoring me lately; this could really perk up our love life."" L…

What are the first few things Donald Trump will do as President * Turn the White House lawn into a expensive golf course for rent * Build a huge wall around the White House and make the visitors pay for it * Pass an executive action to cancel the 2008/2012 election alleging that Obama was not born in this country what else?

So this guy, Rob, is at an interview... And on his resume, he claims that he is friends with almost everyone in the world. The boss, who's interviewing him, clearly doesn't believe him. "If you know everyone, then hook me up with Obama." "Oh yeah! Sure! Obama and I went to middle school together! I'll call him up" Rob calls and Obama picks up. "Hey Rob! Yeah long time no see! I was in the middle of writing a big speech, but you can come over to the White House and we can chill." They arrive…

Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat.