(1st day in heaven) Me: Whoa- is that Elvis? Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators

And then one day you realize you're older and fatter than old fat Elvis.

The best advice my parents ever gave me was not to push too hard because that's how Elvis died.

Thought it would be romantic to serenade this girl with some Elvis. I swear that's the last time I sing "You ain't nothin but a hound dog"