Father Murphy walks into a pub ... Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets ""Do you want to go to heaven?"" The man said ""I do, Father"". The priest said ""Then stand over there against the wall"". Then the priest asked the second man ""Do you want to go to heaven?"" ""Certainly, Father"" was the man's reply. ""Then stand over there against the wall"" said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said ""Do you want to go to heaven?"" O'Toole …

A nun sits outside a pub in Ireland... A man walks up to the pub and is about to go into it when the nun starts shouting. "BEFORE YOU ENTER THIS DEN OF SIN, THINK OF YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER!" He said back to the nun. "They're dead, they're dead and in heaven" The nun went for a different tack and said. "Think then! Think of the damage the alcohol will do to your brain!" "What? Whatever are ye talking about? Have you ever had a drink?" And the nun said no. "Well how the hell can you…

A nun is standing outside a pub... ...and a man comes round the corner, planning to grab an after-work bevy. The nun immediately points at him, and intones: "Before you enter this den of sin and debauchery, think of your mother and father!" The man wipes away a tear, and says "They're dead, God bless 'em. They're dead, in heaven." "Well," says the nun, "Then think of the damage the alcohol will do to your brain!" "What? What are you talking about?" the man asks. "Have you ever had a drink?"…

My grand dad died in a consentration camp... John and Heimler took the night train, they were going to this awsome party, and were really drunk. John liked to joke around using the name Hitler in every sentence, to Heimlers irritation. After a while Heimle stood up and yelled ""ENOUGH JOHN!!!"" scaring the man white. ""Did you know my grand dad died in a concentration camp during world war II John?"" Said Heimler very angry towards John. John knew at this instant that he had hurt Heimler's feeli…