I asked my grandma what she wanted for Christmas & all she said was "a race war" (??)

*sees Salvation Army bell ringer* "Here you go, buddy. Merry Christmas!" "Sir, we don't accept children." *runs away*

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general? Napoleon Bunnyparte!

America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.