quick historical Russian joke from early 90's Quick context - Soviet Union just collapsed and Moscow streets are full of desperate people trying to some money to survive. A dialogue between street meat vendor (V), and a potential customer (C): *** C: Was this meat barking or meowing? V: It was asking stupid questions.

Putin decides to invade Poland Putin decides to invade Poland. But first, he wants to check the future situation in his country by visiting a fortuneteller. Putin: Hello! I'd like to ask how much would a 0,7l bottle of vodka in Moscow 2016 cost. Fortuneteller: Hmmm... it seems about twenty. Putin: Rubles?!? Fortuneteller: No, PLN.

Moscow cops Did you hear the one about why Moscow cops patrol in threes? One who can read, one who can write, and another to keep an eye on the other two "dangerous intellectuals".

Putin dies and goes to hell After a while, he is given a day off for good behavior. So he decides to visit Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender: -Is Crimea ours? -Yes, it is. -And the Donbas? -Also ours. -And Kyiv? -We got that too. Satisfied, Putin finishes his drink, and asks: -Thanks, how much do I owe you? -5 euros