As Clean As Cold Water Can Get Them Larry went to visit his 86 year old grandfather in a very rural area. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, Larry's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon and eggs. Larry noticed a film like substance on his place, and questioned his grandfather asking, ""Are these plates clean?"" His grandfather replied, ""They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal"". For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, Larry…

Funny story about christmas eve Pastor Tony is walking down the street on Christmas eve when he notices a Larry, a small boy, trying to press the doorbell of a house across the street. However, Larry is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, Pastor Tony moves closer to Larry's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder, leans over and gives …

The man who knew everyone A friend of mine named Larry once told me, around the time of Bill Clinton's 2nd inauguration, ""You know, President Clinton and I are buddies."" I said, ""Sure you are."" He said, ""No, really! Just turn on your TV tonight to the Inaugural Ball. You'll see me."" Sure enough, I turned on the TV that night, and there was Larry, talking to President Clinton with his arm around the guy. Not long after, I was talking to Larry about how much I admired Johnny Depp as an actor…

The golfing funeral Larry's wife dies during the week and above his buddies objections he decides to play in his regular Saturday golf game. He says he ought to get out for a bit, golfing is good therapy. As they are set to tee off on 16, which runs along a busy road, a funeral procession passes by. Larry takes off his hat and stands at attention as the funeral procession passes. ""Larry, what are you doing?"" Larry responds, ""We were married for 26 years--at least I ought to show a little resp…