this is my son Mason. yes like the shitty cheap mass produced jar. i named him that because its a good name for my underwhelming baby boy

Mason jars are the skinny jeans of glasses.

"How's Mason doing?" Ugh, he's going through this emu kid phase. "Don't you mean emo kid?" *boy covered in feathers runs past* I wish.

A man walks into a bar and sees a mason jar full of money on the counter *""You sure get a lot of tips""* he says. ""That's not a tip jar"" says the bartender ""you see, we like to play a little game here. You put five bucks into the jar, you get three tasks, and if you complete them, the entire jar is yours. Wanna play? *""Sure, why not?""* ""Alright, here we go. You see that bottle of vodka on the counter? Drain it in one go. There's an angry doberman in the backyard. His right canine tooth hu…