A pirate walks into a barā¦ ā¦and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "Arrh ā Not at ātall." the pirate replies, "I be fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Arrh!" says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit me leg. But the surgeon fixed me up, and I be fine, really." "Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands." "Aye," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off. But the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I be feeling great, really." "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes." "Arrh," says the pirate, "One day when I was swabbing me deck, some gulls were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of themā¦ arrgh, he, pooped in me eye." "So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from that!" "Well," says the pirate, "'Twas me first day with me hook.ā