Went to take out money from the ATM and hit Espanol by accident.It replied, 'Nice try, you don't get paid until all the onions are chopped'.

My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.

Disappointed the ATM didn't shoot out a burst of confetti to congratulate me for having enough to pull out twenty bucks.

I usually make it to the ATM just behind the guy who's using it to refinance his home loan.