George Carlin: Dead. Leslie Nielsen: Dead. Mitch Hedberg: Dead. Greg Giraldo: Dead. Dane Cook: A-Okay. God has some explaining to do.

Mitch Hedberg R.I.P Buddy I was told to move because I was blocking the fire exit ... as if I wouldn't run if there was a fire ... anything flamable and has legs can't ever block a fire exit

Man, you don't know how hard it is to quit smoking It's as hard as it is to start flossing - Mitch Hedberg I miss this man every day :(

I used to listen to old Mitch Hedberg recordings.. I still do, I just used to too.