Check-in lines at the gates of heaven There are several check-in counters at the gates of heaven with big signs telling arrivals where they should check in. One counter has a sign "All married men who were hen pecked by their wives". There is a long line of men waiting to check in there. Next to it is a counter for "married men who were not hen pecked" that has no one waiting in line. An old man walks up to that counter. The clerk looks at the man and checks the big ledger, then takes a ha…

The problem with getting married in heaven.. On their way to get married a couple gets into a fatal car accident. They are sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to turn up and register them. While they're waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone's ever asked. Let me go and find out," and he leaves. The couple sits around for a couple of months a…

Poor Boudreaux . . . Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a little lumber from that new construction site." Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son? Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole for a long time. I'm afraid that someone will break their leg, so I fix the hole." Priest: "Well, that's not so bad." Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a little lumber left." Priest: "What did you do with it? Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog Phi…

Sign Language I was doing yard work after the storm this weekend and my wife was about to take a shower. I realized that I couldn't find the rake. I yelled up to my wife, "Where is the rake?" She couldn't hear me and she shouted back, "What?" I pointed to my eye, then I pointed to my knee and made a raking motion. Then my wife wasn't sure and said "What?" I repeated the gestures. "Eye - Kneed - The Rake" My wife replied that she understands and signals back. She first points t…