A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic? The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest …

Genie: What’s your first wish? Toby: I wish I was Rich. Genie: Granted, what’s your second wish? Rich: I want lots of money.

What do you call rich Mexicans? The Juan percent.

Want a screwdriver? Rich woman and her driver are out in the country. They get a flat tire, and of course the driver can't get the hubcap off. The woman searches the tool bag, and spies a tool that will help. "You want a screwdriver?" she asks. "Might as well, I can't get this damned hubcap off."