Who keeps the children? A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification. After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied, "Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does th…

The local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community?. The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying af…

Wife letter to husband I am writing you this letter to let you know that I'm leaving you. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today, I was kind to you and respected you for 7 years of our marriage, most of the time you did not appreciate me. The last two weeks were like hell. A week ago, you came home and didn't even pay attention to me, I trimmed my nails, hair, manicure and styled my hair. You didn't even notice that I made your favorite dish and for you I had a beautiful linger…

You bastard A judge working a double-homicide case tells the defendant, ""You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."" ""You bastard!"" yells a voice from the back of the courtroom. ""You're also charged with killing your mother-in-law with a hammer,"" says the judge. ""Bastard!"" the same person yells. The judge addresses the man sitting in the back of the courtroom.""Sir, one more outburst and I'll charge you with contempt."" ""I'm sorry, Your Honor,"" says the man. ""But I'…