Overheard this in the train, not a joke per se, but I found it funny >Two dudes were talking about moving to US so the first dude's child will have an American education. Dude1: My wife and I were thinking that we should move to the US so our kid will have an American education? Dude2: You dont want to do that. Dude1: Why? Dude2: You are telling me you want to send your child to a place where people cant tell the difference between a clock and a bomb?

Sam goes to the doctor... Sam, who just turned 86, goes to the doctor. Doctor: How are you doing, Sam? Sam: Good! I just married a beautiful 25 year old and we are now expecting our first child. Doctor: Oh wow. That reminds me of something that happened to me recently. Sam: Oh yeah? What? Doctor: Well I was walking in the woods one day and I came across a rabbit. I lifted my walking stick, pointed it at the rabbit and yelled 'BANG!' Suddenly the rabbit fell over, dead. What do you think …

Why did you have to die? A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you m…

It's Dark In Here Its dark in here A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, “Its dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it is.” Boy ~ “I have a baseball.” Man ~ “That’s nice.” Boy ~ “Want to buy it?” Man ~ “No, thanks.” …