A string of jokes I heard a while ago How do you get four elephants in a mini cooper? Two in the front, two in the back. How do you get four giraffes in a mini cooper? You can't because of all the elephants. How do you get two whales in a mini cooper? Same way you get to Wales in any other car, down the M4, over the Severn Bridge. How can you tell if there's an elephant in your fridge? Footprints in the butter. How can you tell if there are two elephants in your fridge? You can hea…

Two men are sat waiting for a bus in Wales. The older one turns to the younger one and says "Do you see those old mines down there in the valley? Twenty years I spent down there, man and boy, quarrying the coal out of the rock. Without me none of the houses up there would have had coal for the winter. And do they call me Dewey the Coal Miner? No. And do you see the railway line going over the hilltop? I used to drive the trains along that line every day for fifteen years. I used to take people…

*shaves 'I Dogs' into my chest hair for the Westminster Dog Show but just as I take my shirt off a car full of cats rolls up*

Texting while driving: Bad. Wrestling a shark while driving: STILL LEGAL! WOOHOOO!!!