A short lumpy young whit guy walks into a P.I.’s office. The investigator asks “What can I do for you, son?” The guy lets out a little giggle and says, “Well, I recently came into a significant sum of money.” The P.I. leans forward in his chair, licks his lips and says, “Well good for you. How can I be of service?” The young man replies, “I went yesterday to the attorney’s office to pick up my inheritance from my Uncle who died a couple of weeks ago. It was a lot of money. Life changing. I mean, I will miss my Uncle dearly of course but, this money. I would never have to work again.” “I see”, said the investigator. “Tragic and wonderful. I’m still not sure where I come in but I’m willing to however I can.” “Well,” the young man continued, “I was really tired. It was a long day at the lawyer’s and I hadn’t been sleeping well due to the conflict I’ve been feeling between excitement about the money and grief from losing my favorite uncle. So, anyway, I put the money under my bed and laid down to get some sleep. But, as tired as I was, I just couldn’t fall asleep. Thinking about that money. Twenty two million dollars. It was just too exhilarating.” “Twenty two million!” the lawyer exclaimed, standing up behind his desk. “Whatever you need kid, I’m there for you.” “I really had to sleep” the kid said. “Then I remembered some Ambien I had in the medicine cabinet. So I got the bottle , shook a couple out, swallowed them and not 15 minutes later I was out like a light.” “Good for you,” the lawyer said. “Need some more, something a little stronger maybe?” “No!” The kid said. “I’ll never take that stuff again. I was so sound asleep that I must not have noticed someone coming in and stealing all my money. That’s why I’m here. When I woke up it was all gone. All that money vanished and I want you to find it.” “Well,” the P.I. Said, a wide smile consuming his face. “You are indeed in luck. I will in fact guarantee you I can find your money by the end of the day. All you have to do is sign this paper I’m writing up agreeing to pay me a 25% finders fee.” “25%” the kid complains. “That’s a lot of money.” “You want to find it or not?” the investigator asks. “Fine,” the kid says, relenting and scrawling his name at the bottom of the page. As soon as the kid is done signing the P.I. snatches away the paper, checks the signature, and. With a satisfied nod tell the kid, “Look in your back yard.” “Why would it be in my back yard?” The kid asks. “Trust me,” the overjoyed investigator assures him. The kid doesn’t know what to make of it but thinks, might as well give it a shot. He races home skids into the driveway and rushes around the side of the house. At first he sees nothing and then as he is about to give up he notices a large area of freshly dug ground. He grabs a nearby shovel and starts tearing at the earth when suddenly he sees one of the money bags and realizes the P.I. was right. After retrieving all the money the kid calls the P.I. to give him the good news. “It was there,” he yells to the P.I. “Every bit of it. But, I just don’t understand. How could you have known?” The P.I. replies, “It was obvious the minutes you walked in, pills bury dough, boy.” *Sorry. I looked at a can of biscuits in the fridge and, twenty minutes later, well, here we are.