While walking down the street one day, a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies... His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. ""Welcome to heaven,"" says St. Peter. ""Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."" ""No problem, just let me in,"" says the man. ""Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hel…

Christmas in Heaven Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something that represented ""Christmas"". The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of panties. Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, ""How do these represent Christmas?"" The third man answer…

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Jim was suspicious that his wife had been cheating on him. He took off from work early to see if he could catch her in the act. Driving up to his apartment Jim caught a glimpse through an open window of a strange man walking around in his dining room. Now convinced his wife has been unfaithful, Jim stormed into the building and raced up the stairs. Fumbling with his keys at first, Jim burst through the door to find his wife standing in the hallway covered…

Three women all die in a car crash and go to Heaven on the same day.... They are waiting at the gate when St. Peter arrives and greets them, ""Welcome to Heaven, ladies. There is only one rule here in Heaven and it is don't step on the ducks."" The women each look at each other confusingly. St. Pete opens the gate and sure enough there are thousands of tiny ducks covering the ground. The first woman goes in and lasts a week and steps on a duck. St. Peter appears out of nowhere with the ugliest m…