A sign on the side of the road inspired me to write this joke [OC] At the grocery store the other day I was in a rush to get home to get started on dinner. I had just finished my shopping and was making my way to checkout. I looked over the cashier lines and saw one was considerably shorter than the others. The lady at the front was putting her bags in the cart with only a single man behind her, and he only had three items. Meanwhile the other lines were long, all with full carts. Flabbergasted, but thankful for my luck, I quickly pulled my cart in behind the man, thinking to myself that this would be the fastest grocery trip ever. As I pulled in behind the man, I was struck by his rather odd appearance. He had long hair and a full long beard. He wore a cheap, rough robe and sandals that looked homemade of rope and a piece of wood. He turned to me as he placed his few items in front of the cashier, giving me the most beatific smile I have ever seen. So serene was his smile that a feeling of deep calm and peace washed over me. I knew in an instant with absolute certainty that I could not explain that this was Jesus Christ himself. My mouth hanging open I looked around at the other shoppers in amazement and disbelief. Such was my shock that I barely registered the knowing, sad looks that they were giving me. Anyway, the cashier rings up the first item. Jesus stops her and tells her that he has a coupon for it. She looks expectantly at the coupon, sighs, and informs him that the coupon is from a different store. He reminds her of the store policy that they will accept competitor's coupons if the price is lower. She nods and calls over the manager for approval. Eventually he makes it over and they dither over the coupon, checking that it isn't expired and that it is local. At last he nods, approves the price change, and heads on out. The cashier rings up the second item and reaches for the third, and I prepare to get out of here still faster than the other lines, when Jesus pipes up. My heart falls. He says that the item was on sale as buy one, get one free. The cashier looks, bewildered, at the single item in her hand. Jesus insists that he should get the item half off because the sale doesn’t stipulate that you have to buy more than one. She asks, clearly trying to keep cool, why he doesn’t just get another one to take advantage of the deal. He says he only needs one and doesn’t want to be wasteful. After some more back and forth the manager gets called in once again. He sighs, approves the deal and quickly scarpers. I gaze despondently at the other lines, which have now moved well past the place where I would have been. The final items gets scanned and the cashier is about to drop it into the bag when Jesus, once again, pipes up. He says the price isn’t the same as it was listed in the aisle. After some back and forth it turns out the listed price was ten cents less than how it rang up. I am getting very frustrated at this point and the cashier is starting to look desperate. I finally pipe up and ask if he can’t just go with it, since it is only a few cents. He insists that it is the principal of the matter, and that he won’t pay more than the list price. Inevitably the now thoroughly bedraggled looking manager comes back. He ends up sending the bag boy to verify the listed price at the aisle. A few minutes later he comes back and confirms that Jesus has the price right. The manager once again approves the price change and shuffles off. Jesus takes his items, pays the cashier with exact change that he counts out painfully slowly and, at long last, leaves the store. The cashier looks relieved and I realize that this must happen all the time. I ask her if my assumption is right, and she confirms that it is like that every time he comes in. In my confusion and frustration I ask her why, even though I don’t expect that she can answer. She looks at me, smiles resignedly, and says “Didn’t you know? Jesus saves.”