A cannibal, a spy and a soldier... ...are at a bar one night in ancient Rome. The soldier is unusually quiet, drinking heavily and fighting back tears. "What's got you down?" the spy asks the soldier. He sighs. "I think my wife is cheating on me. She's out late at night, avoids me, ignores me, lately she hasn't come home at all. The signs point to her being unfaithful, and I don't know what to do." "Geez, that's a tough one, buddy," the cannibal says. He takes one last drink. "I have to head out, but keep us posted if you hear anything." After the cannibal leaves, the spy turns to the soldier and says, "Listen. Let me follow her for a few days. I'll see what I can find and will get back to you if it's anything suspicious." The soldier thinks it over and agrees to let the spy follow her. A few days later, the spy finds the soldier drinking in the bar again. "I've got some bad news, my friend. This isn't even the worst part, but ....your wife WAS cheating after all!" The soldier is shocked. "This can't get any worse!" He buries his head in his hands. "Who was she cheating with?!" "She was cheating with ....the cannibal! And that's not even the worst part!" The soldier is shocked again. "The cannibal!" He buries his head in his hands. "This really can't get any worse!" "Oh, but it does. I'm sorry to tell you this but your wife ....is dead! The cannibal killed her!" The soldier lifts up his head and resumes his drinking. The spy is surprised by this reaction. "Did you hear what I said?? Your wife died, and the cannibal is the killer!" The soldier shrugs. "Eh, it happens. I'm really gladiator."