I ran an ice cream shop near the Thames in London... We had great business because we were stationed right outside Scotland Yard headquarters. In fact, we were so well-known that we were actually picked from all other shops in London to host Britain's first-annual Ice Cream Seller's contest. Over a thousand people turned up, and they actually had to cordon off part of the Thames with a buoyed police rope due to the traffic we were generating! The events ranged from Fastest Scoop to Best Waffle C…

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says ""I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."" 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. ""We can't stand the sight of each other any longer"" the father says. ""We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her."" Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the p…

Killing spree in London england A man in London had an assault rifle and body armor today. He was on a shooting spree for 5 hours. The police in England don't even carry guns. The guy kept shouting that he is going around London and killing all the British he finds. There are reports coming out now that the body count could be as high as 3-4.

Falklands veteran A British officer spotted a busker in the London Underground with a sign that read: ""VETERAN SOLDIER OF THE FALKLANDS WAR."" The officer thought, ""Poor chap, I was there and it was awful!"" Feeling sorry for a fellow veteran, he took 20 out of his wallet and gave it to the busker. The officer was then greeted with a hearty: ""Gracias, Senor!""