The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn't even apply for the job.

A drunk walked up to a cop on the street... A drunk walked up to a cop on the street and says ""someone stole my car!"" The cop replies, ""well, where did you leave it?"" ""It was right on the end of this key"" ""Well, you can head down to the precinct and file a report and we'll help you find the car."" ""OK, man"" and the drunk starts to walk away. ""Hey"", the cop says, ""before you head downtown you aught to do up your fly"" ""Oh, man"" says the drunk, ""they got my girl too!""

I took my pet woodpecker with me on a walk downtown. Lots of people were pointing and staring. Finally a cop walks up, points in the direction of my woodpecker and said ""'Scuse me sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to put away your pecker."" So I said, ""well where is my bird going to perch then?""

Someone stole all the toilets from the police station downtown. The cops have nothing to go on.