Not Another Russian Joke! Three poor souls are languishing in Gulag and have violated the camp curfew. The punishment for the this is 10 lashes across the back. The camp warden is a somewhat compassionate and he allows the three to choose one item to place on their backs to minimize the injury. The first prisoner was a German scientist and, thinking himself brilliant, asked that they spread motor oil across his back, hoping the lubrication would cause the whip to slide off rather than stick. Unfortunately, after a few lashes, the German falls down in bloody heap and, though alive, is carted off to the infirmary. Next to receive the whip was Ivan, a huge, powerful peasant with massive shoulders. When asked what he wanted on his back he laughed! "I am Ivan! Pure Russian! I want nothing on my back!" And, indeed, as they administered the lashes to ivan he laughed the entire time. Last, a poor little Jew was dragged to the whipping post. "So, Yid. What do you want on your back?" "Ivan!" ​