The other night I was invited for a night out with the boys, and I told my wife I would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed, and the Jameson shots went down a little too easy. Before I knew it, it was 3:45AM and I was plastered, so I quickly ordered a cab home. Just as I walked in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckoo'd 4 times to signal 4AM. Quickly realizing my wife would probably wake up, I proceeded to "cuckoo" an additional 8 times to make it seem like it was still 12. I was really proud of myself for thinking on my feet and coming up with such an ingenious solution, even while totally smashed, to avoid a possible conflict with her. The next morning, my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her midnight. She didn't seem to suspect a thing, but right as I thought I'd gotten away with it, she said "By the way, we need a new cuckoo clock." I asked her, "What do you mean? Why?" "Well last night our clock cuckoo'd four times, then it said 'Oh shit!', cuckoo'd three more times, cleared its throat, cuckoo'd another three times, giggled, cuckoo'd twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted."