What does my mom and a turkey have in common? They both died on Thanksgiving

My dad's addicted to christmas dinner But he's been cold turkey every meal since.

Turkey thawing father and son banter This isn't a joke so much as banter between my father and I this Christmas. Dad: I don't think the turkey is thawed. I bet if we stuck a meat thermometer in there it would be... Son: -273 Kelvin? Dad: Absolutely!

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll. My l…